28 Years of Shining Hope of Christ Through Grief

JoAnne Julo places the Book of the Remembered on the altar during the 28th Annual Easter Mass of We Are Remembered Ministry April 24 at St. John the Baptist, Allentown. (Photos by John Simitz)

By TAMI QUIGLEY Staff writer

“How strange this fear of death is. We are never frightened at a sunset.” So wrote George MacDonald (1824-1905), Scottish author, poet and Christian minister.

This thought resonates with the heart of We Are Remembered Ministry, which celebrated its 28th Annual Easter Mass April 24 at St. John the Baptist, Allentown.

Those gathered for the annual liturgy have grief in their hearts, but know they will see their loved ones again because Christ has taken the sting and fear out of death by dying for our sins; the beauty of their loved one remains with them through the hope of Christ, the hope that is central to the ministry’s purpose.

“On the Road to Emmaus, Jesus was present to the disciples, just as he is present to us,” said Father Jim Torpey, celebrant and homilist at the evening liturgy. Father Torpey is advisor to the ministry and instrumental in its founding in the Diocese of Allentown in 1991.

Father Luigi Palmieri, retired to Holy Family Villa, Bethlehem, concelebrated. Deacon William Urbine, who serves Notre Dame of Bethlehem, assisted.

We Are Remembered ministers to all faiths, parents who have lost a child and all who have lost someone to death under tragic circumstances. All who grieve the loss of a family member or friend are welcome.

A total of 611 names were enrolled and remembered at this year’s evening liturgy, attended by approximately 150 people.
We Are Remembered supports those affected by tragedies such as SIDS, suicide, homicide and opioid overdoses.

One of the enrolled this year was Jim Bortz, who lost his life April 22. He was the brother of Father Tom Bortz, pastor of St. Ignatius Loyola, Sinking Spring.

Others included in the Book of the Remembered are those whose names were enrolled recently, over the years, as well as who have been remembered since the ministry began, starting with Jim Minter, Bridget Fertal and Dottie Mascari.

Rich and Eileen Badesso, and choral members of Sacred Heart, Bath provided music, including the beautiful song “We Are Remembered,” which Rich Badesso wrote and dedicated to the ministry more than a decade ago.

Carol Fertal served as lector as her husband Ed stood by her side. Their daughter, Bridget Jane’l Fertal, was killed 28 years ago when We Are Remembered began in the Diocese.

Before and after Mass those gathered had the chance to sign the Book of the Remembered and write a note to their loved one.

In his homily, Father Torpey referenced the evening’s Gospel, Luke 24:13-35, The Road to Emmaus, which is always proclaimed at the annual liturgy.

“Words were not necessary to express the heartbreak of the disciples on the Road to Emmaus. And we don’t need to explain to anyone the heartbreak we suffer … or the hope that endures. That’s the beauty of the celebration of this Gospel on the Road to Emmaus.”

Father Torpey said the disciples, like us, heard the news about the empty tomb. Christ walking with them was not recognized by “the sun setting on their journey.”

“As in this picture, some of the most amazing sunsets appear not when there are no clouds in the sky – that’s a gift from almighty God,” Father Torpey said as a poster of a sunset photo stood in front of the pulpit.

The sunset photo was taken by this writer, in my other role as a freelance photographer. It paints flares of a December sunset over a field in Orefield, just off Route 309.

Father Torpey said when there are clouds – losses – such as losing a child, family member or friend, “It’s hard to see anything bright or cheerful, or we could say sunny.”

“It’s beautiful to see the power of God found in nature,” he said, alluding to the photo, which is titled “I’ll Remember You.”
“I immediately thanked God for the gift of this image, to behold that.”

“Clouds make the view all the more beautiful,” Father Torpey said. “Sometimes you have to step back – that’s what we have in We Are Remembered.

“We Are Remembered was given to us by the hand of almighty God – it allows us to step back and see the larger picture.
“For our loved ones who have died in the Lord, think of St. Peter at the pearly gates welcoming our family and friends in the name of Jesus the Nazarene.

“Sometimes we can’t see the sun or broader picture, but the sunset continues to guide us.”

Father Torpey said We Are Remembered is not there to take people’s pain away. He noted sometimes people don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving; they don’t know how to comfort. So they say things such as “don’t cry” or “you can have another child.”

“We may in response want to stay silent or lash out,” Father Torpey said. “But we have to take a step back and see the broader picture.

“What we are here to do is ask God to share with us a piece of the bigger picture.”

Father Torpey said as he watched the man make the print of the “I’ll Remember You” sunset, at first he just saw a bunch of lines, then all of a sudden some sun, and red in the sky. “That’s it – that’s what it’s like to see the larger picture,” he said.

“God thinks not in days, years or centuries, but fits the span beyond space and time.

“On the Road to Emmaus, Jesus encourages them to look through the clouds so their hearts would still be open to his message of hope. He knows we have been broken by the loss of love, but wants us to make just a little more space for the message of hope.

“Time allows clouds and tears of rain. But in the very gift of the Eucharist we can get a glimpse of the view of God. Our loved ones who have gone can see him clearly.”

“Clouds, the storms of life, have tried to stop us from seeing the son,” he said, meaning Christ the Son of God, not the sun in the sky.

“The “I’ll Remember You” sunset,” Father Torpey said, “As our friends are home, their names proclaimed in the halls of heaven, and as in the song, “We Are Remembered.’

“The intentions of the ministry and the names in the Book of the Remembered are remembered in all my Masses.”

Father Torpey expressed thanks to the parish of St. John the Baptist and its administrator, Father Gregory Karpyn, for opening the parish to We Are Remembered. He thanked Bishop Alfred Schlert, who approves the ministry in the Diocese of Allentown, and the Diocesan Secretariat for Catholic Life and Evangelization that works in cooperation with the ministry.

Father Torpey also thanked the late Bishop Thomas Welsh, who allowed the ministry to begin in the Diocese. Bishop Welsh’s name is in the Book of the Remembered.

Women of St. Elizabeth of Hungary, Whitehall served cookies and other goodies at the ensuing fellowship, which gave those attending time to share memories of their loved ones and receive a spring flower. We Are Remembered obtained the flowers from Hickory Grove Greenhouses, Catasauqua and its proprietors, the Eline family, who themselves lost a child.

What is We Are Remembered?

We Are Remembered reaches out to people at the time of the death of a child/family member and at the annual Mass, celebrated the Wednesday after Easter, when the Gospel proclaimed is “The Road to Emmaus.”

Father James Torpey is advisor to the ministry. Rich and Eileen Badesso coordinate the mailings/enrollment of names, and provide music for the ministry, available via iTunes.

The late Bishop Thomas Welsh allowed the ministry to begin in the Diocese. It works in cooperation with the Diocesan Secretariat for Catholic Life and Evangelization.

For more information, write to We Are Remembered Ministry, P.O. Box 20082, Lehigh Valley, PA 18002-0082.